19.08.2007 - back-next -

i wish it didn't hurt.
i could go on pretending, that everything is ok. i could keep on smiling and it kills my heart every time.
i'm sorry i held you the way i did in the arcade just now; i couldn't help myself. but i managed to let go. so it's fine.

your touch would be so painful now, though it would mend my heart.
if only i could hide all the pieces of my broken heart. and start living empty.
i really wish it didn't hurt.
but i just wanna disappear.


i wish i could fall asleep easily... i.e. 8 hours of sleep = 8 hours without pain =))


slash my wrist and bleed as much as i can to fall asleep? -looks at germaine- i'm just kidding. no, maybe i'm not kidding. ahaha.


so not funny.


i am worth living. okay. was going through self-mutilation sites. the cuts are fucking cool. i don't know how they do it, but it looks fascinating to me. but they offer advice, not ways to cut myself lah. but anyhow. erm. aiya. forget it.


so many things i wanna say. so many questions i wanna ask. but it's okay. never mind.


"oh, zelia. how i wish i'm there to hug your pain away." yes germaine, i wish you could. i really wish you could.


been ages since i last played paraparaparadise (korean version). damn. i'm so missing it! haha. had nice fun. forget everything for awhile. felt so ahlian standing there dancing. think i wanna go back to play tomorrow... lol!

had a nice meal with allison & sherry too. forced myself to eat.


changi airport, to look for my mom tomorrow. and accompany jingwei and sherry to study. hope allison can make it to tutor me in statistics. yep, get some studying done (though i'm debarred).


i feel like dancing. but my neck and back hurt (sounds as if i had too much sex hahahahaha).


listening to nothing.

MISS.ZELIA

miss zeee / mystiara / mrs-shameless. 09dec87. singapore. chinese / thai. sarcasm. pink. green / black / dark purple / dark brown. kiddo at heart. psychopathic thriller fan. gothic appreciation. archiecomics. fantasy books. DANCER. DESIGNER. PROCRASTINATOR.

I'M ON . .

friendster1 - friendster2 - multiply
facebook - search for ' miss zee '
deviantart
youtube

HEARTS

mr-shameless.
red hair, green eyes, combined.
poker suits, especially spades.
black&gold accessories.
shoes, especially pointed pumps.
baroque-style patterns and prints.
corsets, corset piercings, and brocade corsets (especially more so if they are baroque patterned).
black roses.
d-a-n-c-e.
fashion design.

A.VIOLENT.SUICIDE

design - copyrighted by yours truly - don`t steal/flame/hate , die instead

images yeeshan
colours lissa explains
brushes none

LINK VIOLENTSUICIDE -

EXITS

zourdan my brother - zena my sister - yeeshan - manling sis - huikeng my darling - sweekim pineapple sis - iearmah sis

jingwei wo eh kia - allison nu er

joanne dahling - lichung - diling - debbie

firdaus dear - benjamin - anselm - audrey - meixian darling - liyi - daphne - treasa - jiaying - weefong - nic chua - yiyan - germaine - regina - nicholas

valerie darling - changhong - april - zhiqiang buggy - julian - kelvin - koquise - zul - maxine

nyssa - sydney - anesthesia - crinthia - sara - miyako - xray mb

LUST.WISHLIST

VICTORIA`S SECRET / the miracle bra(r) - triangle top and matching belted scoop bottom in luxury zebra
VICTORIA`S SECRET / very sexy(r) - vertical cup convertible bra
BURBERRY LONDON / - eau de parfum spray
BLOCH / elastosplit - ballet & jazz shoes
FORNARINA FW0607 COLLECTION / 'click' bodysuit
APPLE / iphone / ipod touch
ADIDAS ORIGINALS / black&red floral track jacket
KENZO / flower by kenzo eau de parfum spray
MAKE UP FOR EVER / false eyelashes strip collection - all 52 sets !
RAOUL / sgd259 velvet red platform pumps

NOT.SO.EXHORBITANT.WISHLIST

BOURJOIS / ombre a paupieres [wet & dry eyeshadow] in noir cobalt #06 & noir emeraude #07
BOURJOIS PARIS / maxi frange waterproof [mascara] in vert honolulu 53 / volume clubbing mascara
BOURJOIS PARIS / effet metallise [eyeliner] in effet noir miroir / liner clubbing eyeliner
MONDO / bright green pumps
SKINNIES / electric blue / teal / red
L'OREAL / true match limited edition 2way foundation with refill
RED hair / straighten my fringe / extensions for my tail

BELONGED

fan of josie maran - phoenixes - dragons

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