VIOCIDE:V9 -rekindled*

don't know what to reply you. i can't. i just can't. every waking moment hurts because i know you're not mine anymore. i want to fucking go to sleep and never wake up, because when i do, you're not by my side.

can't bring myself to find my appetite. i think this is getting to be a serious problem. i actually went a whole day without any food nor a single drop of water. until i went to eat supper with you. my god.

i'm delirious. i'm bleeding, profusely. more and more inside. i try so hard not to think about it. not to think about you. feel like slapping myself on the head today for mentioning you so many times, so randomly. try to stop myself. really i'm trying!

and yet i could tell you i wanted to kiss you. wtf?!
and 'because of you' plays right after that. what else can i say? except that you should have been there, standing right in front of me, because i would have danced for you, i would. i would have pointed at you the way i meant to during my seniors' assessment. i remember i still owe you a dance. just for you to see. i don't know if you still want it. but i would do it.

i didn't see your message till we got on the bus. and i tried to fall asleep, thank god i did. why ask me if i would mind if you held me. i wouldn't mind. the hell i would; i crave your warmth all the time. but i wanted to say that i'd mind. i'd mind because it'd only make me want to hold you, too. and when you put your face so close to mine i wanted to turn and kiss you. but i didn't. i couldn't. it'd be unfair to you. i couldn't let us keep holding on and keep making things difficult to let go. but i know we still want it. i know we still hurt for each other.

i am so lost. i wish you could find me.

i walked past the fountain today. i cried. i don't know why. it seemed stupid; there were so many people. but i just cried.

because we both wished that if time could stop for the both of us, it'd be when we were at that magical fountain...

yes, i'd definitely give you a day to spend together. i don't mind at all. i only regret knowing i'd have to let go once that day is over.

i love you too much...

miss zeee / mystiara / mrs-shameless. 09dec87. singapore. chinese / thai. sarcasm. ~~pink~~. green / black / dark purple / dark brown. kiddo at heart. psychopathic thriller fan. gothic appreciation. archiecomics. fantasy books. DANCER. DESIGNER. PROCRASTINATOR.

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